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We do not recommend meeting one-on-one, however if you feel that you wish to meet individually, please take a few precautions! In particular, those meeting offline from a BDSM or Dominance and submission chat channel should heed this advise carefully.After chatting for a while in a channel, some people feel that they are comfortable enough with someone to want to meet them in person. And, there have been some stories in the press about people, primarily women, who have met someone, and have been hurt or killed. Don't let this scare you from meeting in person, but, take some precautions first, and your meeting can be a pleasurable experience.
The first things to do, is to determine who it is you are meeting. This means getting some information from them, and checking them out a little. Most of the meetings are between men and women, however, in meeting anyone, man or woman, the same basic principles apply. I take the perspective of a woman who would be meeting a man here, for ease of explanation.
Talk to the person on the phone, get their number, and sometime later, check it out with directory assistance. When you do call, use a pay phone, not your home telephone. They may have caller-id, and can get your number from there. If a guy gives you his office number, find out the company name, and address. If he says he cannot give out his number, dump him, immediately! You can't trust someone who can't even give out a valid telephone number!
An Update on the information regarding Caller-ID. Synergy_Infinity, from New Zealand, informs Chatmag.com that the New Zealand Telecom NZ has a provision for blocking a person using "caller-id" to find your number. First, dial 0197 then place your call, this will block someone from viewing your number via "caller-id", and he further informs us that many other telephone companies have such a provision, so check with your local telephone provider.
After you have checked him out, arrange to meet somewhere that is public, and not at a secluded place, such as a motel, or at his house. Meet at a restaurant, preferrably somewhere that you know. If this is in another town, get the restaurant name and address, and call them, ask their hours, just call, and see if this is a legitimate restaurant, or he is giving you a phony meeting address. You don't want to be in a strange town, parked in front of what you think the address was, just to wind up in a bad neighborhood, in front of a vacant lot!
One other thing, if you have a cell-phone, take it, and make sure that it works where you are. Most cell phones will dial 911, no matter where you are, if 911 service is avalable in the area.
Before starting out to meet, tell someone where you are going, who you are meeting, and when you expect to return. This can be a friend, or a relative, but be sure and give someone this information. And, if you do find that everything is fine when you meet, and want to stay longer, prearrange a code word, and call your contact, and tell them the code word, and what your plans are, and when you expect to return.
Lets say you call your friend "Debbie", when you call her, use Debbie Jo(1), or Debbie Sue, anything that is not her regular name. If anyone is listening, they would not know which name is correct, but Debbie will know that you are fine. This code can also work to alert your friend that you may be in trouble, be creative, and act naturally.
Stick to your schedule, and try and stay in public areas, until you feel comfortable enough with this person to meet privately. It may be best to meet publicly a few times, until you are sure of them. A person can put on a good act once, but may slip up after a few times if they are less than honest.
Just remember, at anytime you feel uncomfortable, get out!
Never take a chance on your safety!
(1). Please note that this article was written in 1999, before the tragic murder of Bobbi Jo Stinnett.
Taking your online business offline. Meeting someone in a business setting.
Relocating after meeting.
Online Dating Safety Tips. 8 Essential Steps to Successful Internet Dating.
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