We do
not recommend meeting one-on-one, however if you feel that you wish to
meet individually, please take a few precautions! In particular,
those meeting offline from a BDSM or Dominance and submission chat channel
should heed this advise carefully.
After chatting for a while in a channel, some people feel that they are
comfortable enough with someone to want to meet them in person. And, there
have been some stories in the press about people, primarily women, who
have met someone, and have been hurt or killed. Don't let this scare you
from meeting in person, but, take some precautions first, and your meeting
can be a pleasurable experience.
The first things to do, is to determine who it is you are meeting. This
means getting some information from them, and checking them out a little.
Most of the meetings are between men and women, however, in meeting anyone,
man or woman, the same basic principles apply. I take the perspective of
a woman who would be meeting a man here, for ease of explanation.
Talk to the person on the phone, get their number, and sometime later,
check it out with directory assistance. When you do call, use a pay phone,
not your home telephone. They may have caller-id, and can get your number
from there. If a guy gives you his office number, find out the company
name, and address. If he says he cannot give out his number, dump him,
immediately! You can't trust someone who can't even give out a valid
telephone number!
An
Update on the information regarding Caller-ID. Synergy_Infinity,
from New Zealand, informs Chatmag.com that the New Zealand Telecom NZ has
a provision for blocking a person using "caller-id" to find your number.
First, dial 0197 then place your call, this will block someone from viewing
your number via "caller-id", and he further informs us that many other
telephone companies have such a provision, so check with your local telephone
provider.
After you have checked him out, arrange to meet somewhere that is public,
and not at a secluded place, such as a motel, or at his house. Meet at
a restaurant, preferrably somewhere that you know. If this is in another
town, get the restaurant name and address, and call them, ask their hours,
just call, and see if this is a legitimate restaurant, or he is giving
you a phony meeting address. You don't want to be in a strange town, parked
in front of what you think the address was, just to wind up in a bad neighborhood,
in front of a vacant lot!
One
other thing, if you have a cell-phone, take it, and make sure that it works
where you are. Most cell phones will dial 911, no matter where you are,
if 911 service is avalable in the area.
Before starting out to meet, tell someone where you are going, who you
are meeting, and when you expect to return. This can be a friend, or a
relative, but be sure and give someone this information. And, if you do
find that everything is fine when you meet, and want to stay longer, prearrange
a code word, and call your contact, and tell them the code word, and what
your plans are, and when you expect to return.
Lets
say you call your friend "Debbie", when you call her, use Debbie Jo(1),
or Debbie Sue, anything that is not her regular name. If anyone is listening,
they would not know which name is correct, but Debbie will know that you
are fine. This code can also work to alert your friend that you may be
in trouble, be creative, and act naturally.
Stick to your schedule, and try and stay in public areas, until you feel
comfortable enough with this person to meet privately. It may be best to
meet publicly a few times, until you are sure of them. A person can put
on a good act once, but may slip up after a few times if they are less
than honest.
Just remember,
at anytime you feel uncomfortable, get out!
Never take a chance
on your safety!
(1). Please note
that this article was written in 1999, before the tragic murder of Bobbi
Jo Stinnett.
Taking
your online business offline. Meeting someone in a business setting.
Relocating
after meeting.
Online
Dating Safety Tips. 8 Essential Steps to Successful Internet Dating.
Back
to the Safety Index
Next:
Chat
Room Posers
Main
Chat Topic Index